Cringe-worthy thoughts at 4 am Remember that one time you were awkward, and you tried to laugh it off, but it made it worse, so you just kind of slinked away wishing you had an invisibility cloak or whatever Jim Carry had in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind to go...
Last weekend we took the kids to a UCSB Women's basketball game. Before the game started the announcer came on asking for a moment of silence for a few "long-time friends of UCSB." Down a few rows and to the right I saw an elderly woman stand up. I thought maybe they...
The other day a friend suggested I try writing about something else besides Aiden. She thought it might be good for me. I said, "I try, but the pen always returns to him." I didn’t take it personally. I know her heart was in the right place. Maybe she thought if I...
I’ve been following the trial of Derek Chauvin, the white police officer accused of murdering George Floyd by kneeling on his neck for more than nine minutes. As I listen to the testimony of the witnesses I keep thinking, grief compounds.
I'm with the whole world when I say 2020 sucked, but I stop short of calling it the worst year ever. That honor goes to 2019. 2019 was the year Aiden got cancer. It was the year he died. 2020 was supposed to be the year we grieved him. But just as we were beginning to...
Getting out of bed is still hard, not as hard as it was a year ago, but there are still days when the weight of grief on my chest is too heavy.
The other day I was lying on the couch and my daughter was sitting on the floor next to me. She was looking at a book with her back up against the couch looking too sweet for words. I couldn't help myself. I leaned over and took a deep breath of her hair. There it...
"Out of the mouths of babes" is a popular quote from the Bible for a reason. Our children come up with the most hilarious, heartwarming, and often profound statements it's as if they are coming from another realm altogether. My oldest son has always been a deep...
Survive January and still have friends Making plans in January is more like wishful thinking than actual planning. You might spend that peaceful week between Christmas and New Years thinking about resolutions or projects you want to tackle around the house or work....
The very first post I wrote for this blog was about New Year's resolutions. Back then I wrote, I love the New Year. I get lost in the idea of a clean slate, day one, and a fresh start. It’s the kind of thing that makes me want to buy new pens and stuff. 5...
Sometimes I feel invisible. I know I’m important to my family. I know I’m needed, but sometimes I don’t feel seen. I struggle with identity. I love the opportunities being a stay at home mom has given me, but the part of me that is not mom or wife has felt a little...
Like a lot of you, I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. I LOVE that I can stay connected with friends and family, especially those that live far away and rarely get to see in person. I'm addicted to heartwarming stories and videos of military homecomings and...