Sometimes I feel invisible.
I know I’m important to my family. I know I’m needed, but sometimes I don’t feel seen.
I struggle with identity. I love the opportunities being a stay at home mom has given me, but the part of me that is not mom or wife has felt a little lost.
So, I daydream.
Now that we are out of the newborn fog, I actually have a little bit of time to put some thought and action into those daydreams.
Maybe even say them out loud… to another person. Maybe I can turn some of them into realities.
My husband doesn’t always know what to do when I share my daydreams. He’s kind of stuck between wanting to be supportive but needing to be realistic. He’s never sure which daydreams are ones I’m really serious about, and which ones I’m kicking around for fun.
To help, I wrote step-by-step instructions on how to respond to your daydreamer.
Step 1:
Smile.
No matter how insane her last statement sounded to you, smile and say, “Sounds fun. Tell me more.”
You might want to practice this in the mirror.
Step 2:
Say nothing logical for 24 hours.
She has probably been thinking about this for a long time without telling a soul and she just got up the courage to say it out loud… to you.
This means that while she respects your opinion and wants and needs your feedback, right now, more than anything she needs you to be excited for her.
She needs you to believe in her.
Don’t ask questions. Don’t give advice. Don’t make her come down from the clouds just yet.
In case of emergency
911! Your wife is freaking out and crying in the bathroom!
If something goes wrong you can say one of these three things to get back on track.
“I can tell this is really important to you.”
“I believe in you.”
“Tell me more about this.”
Step 3
Suggest a date night to talk about her daydream.
This final step, when done right, will not only have you swimming in husband points, but the chances of some serious sexy time are very high.
After you listen to her excitement and respond with your own excitement say something like, “This sounds really interesting. Let’s plan a date night without the kids so we can look at this together. We can get a sitter and go out for pizza and talk it all out. I’ll even call the sitter.”
Now if that’s not panty dropping language I don’t know what is!
Before the date do a little Googling on her daydream.
Write down some questions and your concerns. Show her where and how it might work and point out some problems that her pink cloud covered up.
Remember, you are not dealing with logic here. You are dealing with one of the trickiest emotions of all… Hope.
Hope is different for a daydreamer. It needs a little longer sparkle time before it can be turned into a goal.
Are you a daydreamer? Do you love a daydreamer? Tell me about it on Facebook or Instagram
