Making plans in January is more like wishful thinking than actual planning. You might spend that peaceful week between Christmas and New Years thinking about resolutions or projects you want to tackle around the house or work. You might daydream about your kids returning to school so you can actually complete said projects. Or you might just want to schedule a relaxing lunch with a friend you didn’t have time to see during the busy holiday season.
But January has other ideas…
When you make plans, January laughs
Little did you know there are germs, bacteria, and viruses just waiting in the wings to mess up your schedule and make you look like a jerk.
There is no one who understands this more than parents with young children.
These little Petri dishes of bodily fluids that may or may not burst out at any moment from any location have a way of turning cold and flu season into a merry-go-round of sickness.
Maybe it’s selective memory, but I always feel like, “This year we were hit hard.” and I say it like last year was easy.
January needs a new name
January should be re-named Sick-uary or Jan-u-boogers, or We-have-the-plague-I’ll-see-you-in-the-Spring.
Don’t believe me? T
Week one:
Mom has the start of a cold.
Baby gets a virus and spiked a 103 fever. It’s the weekend so we end up in the ER.
Hubby gets hit with the stomach flu while mom is out of town and is stuck barfing in between diaper changes and playing Candyland with the older kids.
Mom and Dad are worthless! Whoever invented the iPad, Xbox, and TV deserve the Nobel Prize for Awesomeness!
Week Two:
Mom still has a cold.
Middle Child has a cold and misses the first day back to school after break.
Oldest Child fakes sick because he is jealous Middle Child gets to stay home.
Middle Child goes to school the next day but is picked up early and spends the rest of the week home. Cold turns into a sinus and ear infection. Mom feels guilty for sending Middle Child to school and fully expects death threats from other parents in the class.
Mom re-schedules lunch with a friend and considers investing in a tissue company.
Week three:
Mom’s cold turns into what she thinks is a sinus infection so painful she ends up in the ER. Turns out it was her tooth. Mom gets a root canal the next day.
Dad is showing signs of a cold.
Oldest Child complains of his tummy hurting, but mom doesn’t believe him (see week one) and sends him to school anyway. The next day Oldest Child almost barfs up breakfast and stays home from school. Again, mom expects death threats.
Mom re-schedules lunch with
Week Four:
Mom barfs in the middle of the night and has to cancel dinner playdate with friends.
Dad has been sneezing all week.
3 hours where all five of us are healthy.
Baby is showing signs of Middle Child’s cold.
Week Five:
Baby’s nose is like Niagra Falls. Mom gives the heads up to friends coming for dinner.
Mom obsessively checks baby’s temperature all day, praying for no fever.
Dinner/playdate happens. Baby slept through most of it.
Dad has a lingering cough.
Mom is counting the days to February
Tips to Survive January and still have friends
- Lower your expectations… a lot.
- Give a heads up. Clear bookers ok, green not so much.
- All plans are tentative until you see the whites of their eyes and even then you never know.
- GIFs are a perfectly acceptable form of communication.
Example:
Me:
My Friend:
Also my Friend:
Me:
My Friend:
Just imagine them sick
It’s difficult for those without young kids to understand why we are always canceling or changing plans or why we don’t call for weeks and it takes us days to return a simple text.
But between moms with young kids, a simple barf emoji explains everything. If a friend hasn’t returned a call or answered a text rather than get resentful I just imagine them up all night with a sick toddler, cleaning up puke, or working on the weekends to make up for time lost.
So how is your January going? Drop a comment below.
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