Breastfeeding is a challenging and mind-boggling experience and new mothers are bombarded from all angles with “advice.”
Many new parents feel the pressure of “Brest is Best,” and Baby Friendly Initiatives and if they fall short of those expectations they become consumed with guilt. This guilt can lead to all sorts of mental health issues
A kind and knowledgeable lactation consultant with good active listening skills can be a new mother’s saving grace.
I’ve had the privilege of helping many new mothers find their footing as parents. Listening to their stories combined with my own experience I’ve come up with a few things every new mom needs to hear from their lactation consultant.
5 things every new mom needs to hear from their lactation consultant.
1. What are your breastfeeding goals?
We hear a lot about what’s best for baby, but what we don’t hear is, “Hey mama, what do you want out of this experience?” “How do you want to feel about breastfeeding?”
She might say something like, “I just want my baby to be healthy.” or “I want to bond with my baby.” or “I just want this to stop hurting.”
Asking a mother what she wants is crucial and reminds her that her needs matter. It will also help protect her mental health should problems arise down the road.
2. Your sleep is important too.
New mothers are terrified of things like losing supply, oversupply, mastitis, and nipple confusion that they think missing one feeding will ruin everything.
They need to know how to safely skip a feeding so that if and when the you-know-what hits the fan, they can get a good stretch of continuous sleep.
3. Formula is safe.
Remember when we asked mom what she wanted out of her breastfeeding experience? If she simply wants a healthy baby we can free her from the guilt of
Also, supplementing does not mean you can’t breastfeed. I supplemented with formula with all three of my babies pretty much since day one and was able to keep my breastfeeding relationship strong for at least a year.
4. Some things you can’t control.
So many moms think if I take the right supplements, drink the right tea, eat the right cookies that breastfeeding will work for me. They try block feeding, dream feeding, and pumping round the clock. They think, “If I just tried harder…”
The reality is though that a mother could be doing all the “right things” and still struggle. There could be latch problems, supply problems, returning to work, allergies and food sensitivities, pumping, and oh yeah you have this baby who is an individual with his own personal preferences.
A lactation consultant can give you all the tips in the world, but she can also give you permission to let go of the things you can’t control and encourage you to wear this experience like a loose garment.
5. You are a good mom.
Oh God do we need to hear this from you! We might be able to brush off the judgements from the random stranger on the street, but we care what you think.
We need to hear, “You are safe. Your baby is safe. You’re doing a good job and you’re a good mom.”
These simple words of affirmation can go a long way in helping a new mama gain the confidence she needs.
One thing we don’t need to hear about is the benifits of brestfeeding.
By the time we meet our little bundles of mad-hungry, voracious eaters, sucking the life out of our cracked and bleeding nipples… I mean joy… yeah our little bundles of joy… We know the benefits of breastfeeding.
What we need now are the mechanics specific to our situation and a sympathetic ear when we struggle.
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