Slow down and push pause.
Pause (n) A temporary stop in action or speech.
One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned in sobriety is to pause when agitated.
When I’m frustrated because dinner isn’t made, the baby is crying, my husband still isn’t home from work, and the kids will go to bed late… again,
I pause.
When someone makes an off comment about the way I parent, a text goes unanswered, or I’m just struggling to feel heard, or seen, or worthy,
I pause.
When I feel the rage bubbling over because the pressure I put on myself to be perfect is just too great,
I pause.
The pause gives me a moment to think. Can I be compassionate? Can I express to the people I love what I need? Can I be ok with doing my best and allow what doesn’t get done to… gasp… not get done?
If I give myself the opportunity to pause before reacting I often realize that my todo list doesn’t own me. I can look at a situation with clear eyes and let go of expectation.
Try it.
Lower your shoulders from your ears.
Unclench your jaw.
Release your tongue from the roof of your mouth.
But what about the magic?
I hear you protesting from behind my keyboard right now. “But Emily, there is no time for a pause. I have too much to do and if I don’t do it, it won’t get done.”
Believe me, I get it. This time of year is hard. Just last night on our way to see the Christmas lights, I stressed the whole family out by the way I was tearing around the house.
We were going to be late, and the kids didn’t have warm coats, and we never do family stuff, and this is supposed to be fun gosh dang it! (except the words I was thinking were not “gosh dang it.”)
I realized I wasn’t having fun and neither was anyone else. On the drive there I made myself breathe. In through my nose and out through my mouth and by the time I got there I was ready to let go and enjoy the experience.
There is so much expectation put on matching real life to what we put on our Christmas cards. We are so busy making the magic that we can experience it for ourselves.
What if we decided to not do all the things? What if we turned in the frantic and the busy and traded them for self-care and connection?
What if we took a moment to push pause?
How to push pause
A pause can be anything from sitting in the car for 5 minutes before you pick up your kids from school, to scheduling a 90-minute massage. The point is when you start to feel agitated, listen to your body and the first moment you have, pause and focus solely on you.
Lately, I’ve been struggling with worry and self-worth so last week during my son’s nap this is how I chose to pause. It was every bit as necessary and luxurious as I wanted it to be.
I invite you in this season of crazy, wonderful, excess, and joy to pause. It is the ultimate in self-care and doesn’t cost a dime. I promise you the laundry and the dishes and the Amazon cart will still be there when it’s time to push play.
Maybe you’ll find pushing “play” is what you really needed all along.
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