It’s Valentines Day and love is in the air…
Yesterday my husband asked me, “So are we doing anything for Valentine’s Day?” Translation, “I didn’t plan anything, but if you did I don’t want to feel like a jerk so let me know if I need to run to the store.”
My response…
In truth, I’m not a super big Valentine’s Day person. Years in the restaurant industry has me jaded. Some of my worst work-mares involve having 10 tables of couples trying to enjoy themselves when they are practically sitting on top of the next table over. And while young love is really sweet serving an awkwardly quiet table of 16 year-olds is not my idea of fun.
Love notes, on the other hand, are a whole other story.
You may be in the thick of having a newborn or a toddler or a teenager. You may be dealing with work challenges, or parenting challenges, or maybe the day to day grind is just wearing you down. When you finally come up for air you realize how much you miss the person sleeping next to you every night.
A quick love note can rekindle that connection.
Why write?
One of my love languages is words of affirmation. They can be funny or serious, sentimental or practical. The point is you are taking the time to tell the person what they mean to you.
Text and email are great, but writing these little thoughts down in your own handwriting makes it that much more special.
Here are three ways to make your loves notes more meaningful even if you aren’t comfortable with sharing your thoughts in writing.
When writing love notes, be specific, be sincere, be succinct.
Be specific.
Begin your love note with, “Why now?” What about this day and this moment prompted you to think of this person. Don’t just say I was thinking of you. Say, “I was driving without the radio on and it reminded me of the time we took a road trip to San Fransisco.”
Don’t just say thank you. Show your gratitude by sharing something you see in them that maybe other’s don’t see. “Thank you for showing your inner weirdo. I love that I can aways count on you to break the awkward silence.”
Be sincere.
You could say Valentine’s Day has lost all its magic and now just another manufactured holiday to get you to buy things you don’t need. Or, you could flip the script and be sincere.
Whoever you write your love note to, write it because you want to make the person reading it smile, not because you think you have to or that it might mean something if you don’t.
Be succinct.
There is no need to capture all your love or gratitude for this person in one sentiment. That is way too much pressure. A few well-chosen words can go a long way in showing someone you care.
Chose words that you would use in everyday conversation. Use inside jokes that only they would understand. Don’t overcomplicate your love note with flowery language, unless you are a flowery language kind of person.
Final (love) note
I’ll be the first to admit that when it comes to gestures like this I am not the best. My husband has always been the more thoughtful partner in our relationship, but it’s something I’m working on.
A few months back I heard about Gina Hamadey and her project, Thank You Year. She set out on this quest to write one thank you letter a day for an entire year.
Love notes are kind of like thank you notes and while I recognize I can’t commit to something to one everyday, her story has inspired me to create my own version of a thank you year.
I have been blessed with so many wonderful people in my life I want to show my gratitude. I’ll keep you posted on my progress.
Do you write love notes to your partner, to friends, to the barista who makes your tea latte just right? Drop a comment below. I’d love to hear how others keep up this practice.
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