Happy birthday honey
Right now, lying in the corner at the foot of our bed is my husband Nick’s navy blue mesh shorts. These are his pajamas. I don’t have to go into the room to check to see if they are there; I know that they are
His dry cleaning is in a pile in the corner of our bedroom. In a few days, Nick will bag up the clothes, and I will take them to the dry cleaners. I will bring home his pressed shirts and trousers, and I will hang them, still wrapped in plastic, in his closet.
The coffee cup Nick uses to brew coffee and then empties into a travel mug for work is sitting on the counter by the sink. There is a coffee stain ringing the bottom of the cup. Before I make the homemade pizza I have planned for dinner, I will rinse this coffee cup so it is ready for him in the morning.
Nick has three pairs of sneakers on the shoe rack by the back door. The good pair, the workout pair, and the pair he wears for mowing the lawn. Six months from now, he will buy a new pair of sneakers. The lawn mowing shoes will go into the trash, and the workout shoes will become his new lawn mowing shoes and the good pair will become his new workout shoes.
This morning Nick worked out in the garage. He turned the yoga mat we both use perpendicular to the TV. When I do my workout later today, I will turn it parallel.
His baseball hat, the black one that says Never Give Up in white block letters, is hanging on a rack by the front door. Every time he wears that hat, I will think of the picture of him with Aiden in his lap. Both of them are smiling; no doubt Nick was tickling Aiden’s back while they both looked into the camera. Nick is wearing that hat, and Aiden is wearing a hospital gown.
There is a wadded-up surgical mask on the top of the dryer. It’s been there since Nick emptied his pockets last Friday. When he gets home from work tonight, his keys and wallet, and hospital badge will rejoin the mask.
I enjoy thinking about the things my husband leaves behind— small reminders that he is everywhere in our house, and that is what makes this a home.
There are four pieces of carrot cake in the refrigerator. Today when the kids get home from school, they will draw pictures and write letters. I will write one too.
Today is Nick’s birthday. He turns 43.
This is where I am today. Thank you for listening.